Last night I was sitting in the recliner when the Ole' Dude tileing our bathroom needed help. Cheese put down the computer and offered to lend a hand.
This was after Cheese sent me the following e-mail from his position five feet away on the couch.
Cheese to me 6:18 PM (16 hours ago)
Subject: Things you don't want to here from your handyman
what the heell?what the heell?oh well...
SHIT!!!
MUTHERFUCKER!!!
I'll come have a smoke with y'all
The fuck is that?
The toilet was taken out and had been sitting in our hallway for a few days while he worked on laying down the tile. As he worked steadily he would emit a slew of expletives that would make a drunk sailor blush. Finally, it was time to put the toilet back in.
A few minutes later I hear Cheese say "Oh, wow, I'm so, so sorry."
Thinking nothing of it I returned to reading.
Not long after Cheese steps on the back porch and tells me to come outside, immediately, and does so with this funny smile on his face. We get out there and he starts telling me what just happened.
As Cheese and Ole' Dude were trying to move the toilet back into the bathroom, Ole' Dude decides to take a look inside the toilet's plumbing and starts digging around. At some point Ole' Dude mutters, "Aww man, I don't get paid enough for this shit." And then mutters something else.
Cheese starts thinking, "Um, well, yea, actually you do get paid to do th--"
And then Ole' Dude pulls out three used tampons from the insides of the toilet.
Ole' Dude: "Yea, tell your lady friends not to flush tampons. It fucks up the plumbing."
Cheese: "Oh, wow, I'm so, so sorry."
Ole' Dude: "Nah, it's a'right, I got six sisters. I know how it is."
I'm actually starting to like this guy.
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8 comments:
gross squared.
Does your management company only hire the feeble and incompetent? From the posts I've read, it sounds like this stuff should take only a couple of days to fix. Then again, snaking tampons by hand probably takes more time than I give credit for.
well, we don't really have a "management" company....just a landlord. And she usually gets "contractor friends" to do the work....
we had a bathroom upstairs fixed up (new shower installed, new toilet), and it took TWO MONTHS
@SD: I think for our handy man it was Gross to the fourth.
@Harry: Feeble and incompetent = Will Work 4 Crack.
@Cheese: What, you think three months is too long to get a bathroom fixed? Maybe we're just being impatient.
Yeah, not that it wasn't clear earlier in the story, but ole' dude is a moron - it says in the instructions (yes, they come with instructions) of every tampon box that the tampon should be flushed after use - they do specify not to flush the applicator however. So not to get too into it here (because even though you just told a story about this, I know guys don't care) but what the fuck does this guy suggest a woman should do with a used tampon if not flush it?
OK this is making me uncomfortable.
Innocent.
@Red: Yea, I don't have an answer for you. I wish I knew.
@Anon: Huh?
Red - well, that might be what the instructions say, but....it doesn't change the fact that HE PULLED THREE TAMPONS OUT OF THE TOILET!!!
God it took everything I had not to burst out laughing.
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