Pardon me, waiter....

Princess and I were hanging out late Monday night. It was her 30th birthday and everyone else had gone home and she needed someone to drink with her. Who else?

Princess: I'mgonnaslamabeerbecauseI'm30. AndI'mnotevendrunkandI'mdonedrinkingtogetdrunkcauseofmyliver.
Me:...................ok.
Princess: Maybe I've had more to drink than I realize.

Perhaps.

So I was in the recliner, also known as my office, and she was on the couch. We're watching a movie that will remain nameless for the sake of my manhood and we're sipping beers.

All of a sudden I get a tap-tap-tap on my arm and I look over.

How to describe Princess's face?

Imagine if you accidentally swallowed a bug: Lips pursed, eyes squinted, nose wrinkled.

Me: What's wrong?

Princess points down to her beer glass where there is, sure enough, a fly resting comfortably on the inside lip of the glass.

Princess: Eww, eww, EWWWWWWWWW. It was IN MY MOUTH AND IT WAS FUZZY!!!

She immediately juts her tongue out half an inch and starts licking her shirt as I lose my shit and almost collapse out of the chair in hysterics.

Princess: OHMYGAWD its HEAD WAS ON MY LIP!!!!

The funny thing is, I am pretty sure the fly was in a daze.

Or, more accurately, I am pretty sure Princess got the fly wasted as the beer was passing over its body and into hers.

It just clung there to the inside of the glass. Not moving at all. I thought it was dead.

Keep in mind that Princess is still licking her shirt the entire time to get the fly residue out of her mouth. And keep in mind I am still laughing hysterically.

I put out a finger and moved it toward the fly. As soon as I got closer the fly kind of buzzed into the other side of the glass like a pinball and then flew out and landed really quick.

Bet that fly slept really well last night.

Wonder how it's doing today?