I'm Actually Not Dumb

I'm somewhat smart, I think.

I mean, I can have a conversation for long periods of time and know a few things about history and, other things. I appreciate the opportunity to consider new ideas and ponder new concepts.

However.

There have been a few conversations over the past couple months that would make me seem like either a dumbass, an asshole, or both.

The highlights:

Me: "Yea, I fucking love living in DC. It's been sunny almost every day I've been there, and it never rains.
Shortcake: "Well, yea, there's a drought."
Me: "Oh."

Then there was the time last month when my sister and I were driving up to Philadelphia for a concert when we stopped at a service center along the Delaware Turnpike. (I have my own opinions about those fucking places, but I'll save it for another time.)

We were walking up to the doors when we somehow got stuck behind this really slow couple. I really had to pee so time was important. Finally we work our way around them.

Me: "Shit, I wish some people would fucking pick it up around here."
Little Sister: "He had a cane, asshole."
Me: "Oh."

And then there was last night, when I, Cheese and our neighbor were bouncing back and forth between football and The Emmys.

Me: "Holy Shit, Vanessa Williams is really fucking tan."
Cheese: "Uhh...she's black, dude."
Me: "Oh."

Maybe the alcohol is finally taking it's toll.