Monster

So I just got off the phone with my boss and colleagues as part of our weekly conference call.

Things with the company: Not so good. The president was let go over the weekend, making him the fourth full-time employee to leave the company in the past three months. This is not a large company. I am not effectively doing the work of three and a half people while retaining the salary of one. If things continue, I may need to find a new job.

Fuck.

I can't even describe to you how much I hate trying to find a new job. Like, I fucking hate it. I would rather have a constant case of kidney stones and a small bladder than look for a new job. I would rather duct tape my testicles to the muffler of a raging motorcycle and get dragged down the street than look for a new job. I would rather....well, you get it.

All the interviews, the cover letters, the resumes. Plus, the job I've held since April really hasn't given me much experience in anything, except how to bullshit, which, let's face it, I was already pretty good at before.

Also, this isn't the most opportune time to look for a job, with all kinds of businesses going on hibernation over the holidays.

Why can't the good jobs just come to me? Shit, I met my boss at a bar. Now that's a great place for an interview.

Maybe I should just hang out at bars more, no?

Piss.