When I moved to DC one of my first questions was "What are the winters like?" since the benefit of moving a few degrees in latitude south was, I assumed, a warmer clime during the rough months.
Cheese told me they were much better here. But he also told me to prepare for something quite unbelievable. He assured me that the Metro DC area pretty much suffocates under even the thinnest blanket of snow, that men, women and children bundle up and race to the store to procure the last grains of bread and the quick-disappearing bottles of milk.
I called him a liar. I said he was nuts. I accused him of being on multiple illicit substances.
Then today arrived.
As the first few flakes of the season started descending on the area this morning I get a message from Cheese, who said his organization was already considering an early release. Now, mind you, there's definitely a time and place for it. You know, like when there's an expected blizzard.
The forecast for precipitation: ......wait for it......one to two inches.
What?
It's not sticking to the streets. The roads are fine. We can see many miles without torrents of squalls in our faces.
Back in Michigan we laughed in the face of Mother Nature when she futilely teased us with such wimpish amounts of white. Shit, it's Michigan, there's three inches of new powder on the ground in July.
Not here.
As I was out getting lunch, enjoying the December snowfall, I heard a radio report that talked about the school closings.
It lasted 10 minutes.
We're not in Michigan anymore.
(Oh, and no comments allowed from my California and Florida readers. You do not earn the right to speak here.)
14 comments:
Philly is only slightly better.
They're like idiots who decide, "Oh wait we should plow this stuff so people can still drive."
Unfortunately "they" come to this conclusion after it's already been snowing for hours.
Asshats.
F that. You cannot hold me down!
Snow? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's 77 degrees and sunny right now. Your decrees of no comments hold no power over me!
To the both of you: I hope California breaks off and drifts helplessly into the sea. And I hope the currents push it North so that it wears Alasks as a hat. Then, I will laugh.
Suck it.
Damn it! I should have asked you a good place to eat in DC while we were out there last weekend. Shit.
And I'll refrain from making nasty comments. But I will say this, it didn't snow or anything, but fuck that was cold. Me no likey temps under 50 and it wasn't above 35 the whole time we were there.
NYC is the same damn way; the snow makes people drive like absolute morons here.
As someone who grew up in a state covered in lake effect snow and learned to drive in a blizzard (uphill! both ways!), I laugh at the stupid cab drivers who slam on their brakes during an ice storm.
OK. So. I guess everyone who comments on this blog is from California. Good to know. Fuckers.
@OTV: "Oh waaaaah, waaaaah. I had to get drunk all weekend and hang out in temperatures under 50 degrees. Waaah. And now I'm back near the beach. Waaah."
Yea, no sympathy here. However, yes, you should have hit me up on the DC food outlook. I know a GREAT little bistro in Anacostia. There's not a (living) soul around. Glad to have you back though.
@DB: People drive in NYC? I thought you guys just skied everywhere. Huh.
I, too, learned to drive in blizzards -- on a stick -- and I appreciate the empathy.
Oh, and thank you for being my go-to weather commenter.
Heh, sounds like the town in PA where I grew up. A prediction of flurries and the grocery store was out of bread and toilet paper for a week.
Fortunately I was taught to drive in the snow by my father, who grew up an hour or so south of Lake Erie. Good thing, because then I moved to the ass edge of Brooklyn where they NEVER plow, even when there is a legitimate blizzard.
And I lived on a snow emergency route. Yikes.
Oh, and in repsonse to you comment to SlightlyDistracted and GiveEmHellHarry, all I can say is... will you marry me?
;)
@FP: Yea, I have no idea why such a civilized country devolves into a 1930s Soviet-bloc nation whenever some accumulation falls. Like, has anyone seriously been trapped in a house for days or weeks because of a blizzard? Shit, strap on the skis.
Oh, and regarding your marriage proposal: Depends...are you more frog or more princess? ;) Just wondering...
The first year I moved down south the weatherman predicted "a light snow." Everyone left work early, causing 8 hours of traffic, over 1,000 accidents (area <1 million ppl), and children were stranded overnight at schools.
I went out in the morning and could clear my car off by blowing on it...less than an inch of snow. ALL powder. Ridiculous.
I lived in Maryland/Virginia 15 years ago and I couldn't believe the lunacy when it snowed. The first time it happened I looked up from my desk and saw the whole office standing in my doorway. I thought someone had died or something. Nah--they wanted to know when I was closing the branch.
I started laughing at them...and stayed open the whole day. Huge mistake. Even though it was coming down very lightly, it took me 3 hrs to get home through the morons who wanted to play bumper cars. Closed early every time after that....
@la: So, seriously, what does your name mean?
@Jumper: Yea, I can totally see that. I still don't understand it, but I definitely see it. Thanks for the comment.
welcome to DC ;-)
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